Parenting means supplying a tiny human with the tools needed to succeed as an independent adult.
At some point you stumble out of your sleep deprived state only to be confronted with the realization that your sweet innocent baby is now a toddler. And a willful one at that.
The next think you know, your one year old is waving his finger and shaking his head no when you tell him to stop throwing food. You stare in bewilderment (while trying to keep a straight face because, let’s be honest, that’s so dang cute) wondering how he knows that. A few minutes later he’s up to his antics again to which you instinctively wave your finger and shake your head. And then it hits you.. about the same time that second fistful of food does. So that’s where he picked that up…
We have made it through an entire year with our little bundle of joy who is now a slightly bigger bundle of joy and packed with personality. If I had to describe him in 2 words it would be: fiercely independent.
While we’re running around trying to keep this mobile mischief maker alive, we are also parenting: setting him up with the tools he needs to succeed as an independent adult.
This is uncharted territory for us, as it is for all new parents. We have no idea what we are doing and it is daunting. So where do we turn? I’ve never fully appreciated the plethora of resources out there for parents like myself– until now. I’ve asked friends and family for recommendations and have also done a bit of research. Here are resources I’ve found:
Your Parents
The first place to start is by picking up the phone and calling your parents. Don’t underestimate the power of grandparents! They can provide more than just lifesaving child care and much needed breaks. Your parents have literally “been there, done that” with YOU! And you turned out okay. Children inherit traits – good and bad – from their parents who inherited from their parents and their parents before them. Which means, if your beloved child starts presenting traits that are eerily familiar to ones you possess, your parents might have a few tips and tricks on how to deal with them.
Sometimes it can get a little dicey when there’s a discrepancy of parenting styles. Most new parents set out to correct the parenting “mistakes” of the previous generation only to find that our parents’ did the best they could.. much like we are attempting to now. There are no perfect parents and there are no perfectly parented kids. Even so, we may choose to do things differently than our parents. In a very gentle way you can let them know that even if you may not implement every ounce of their advice, you still appreciate it.
Other Parents
For a variety of reasons, be it due to location, relational, or other issues, the grandparents may be distant. You may not have the luxury of close folks. It’s good to surround yourself with those to help mentor you through this parenting process. Find some “adoptive grandparents” for you kids. Do you know of an older couple whose kids are gone and now long for the sound of little feet running around? Have you ever come across an adult where you’ve thought, ‘their parents did something right’? Go find those parents.
It’s also good to be around other parents that are in the same stage as you. The older generation provides the wisdom that comes from successfully raising a child. Fellow parents can provide insight on how to navigate raising kids in this current society. Join a moms group such as MOPS: Mothers of Preschoolers or look for a play group in your community.
We are an independent society and it may seem undesirable looking for help with parenting, or allowing someone to speak into your life and offer advice because it is such a sensitive topic! Ultimately you are the parent: the final parenting decisions lie with you and everyone around needs to respect that, but the saying “it takes a village” rings true.
Podcasts
Podcasts are great because it allows you to do what parents do best: multitask. You can listen to them in the background while running after the kiddos.
Risen Motherhood:
Risen Motherhood is a great podcast that comes highly recommended. Whenever a mama asks for parenting resource recommendations this is usually the most popular suggestion, for good reason! They also have worksheets and other resources.
“Every Wednesday, we release a new episode of the Risen Motherhood podcast. On the show we discuss relevant topics to everyday motherhood through the lens of the gospel. From potty training or cooking dinner, to miscarriage or PPD, no topic is off limits. Each episode is about 20 minutes, so you can fit it into your day when you’re washing dishes, folding laundry or driving to work.”
Courageous Parenting:
“Courageous Parenting is a weekly podcast for Christian parents who want to equip confident Christian kids in an uncertain world.”
Focus on the Family:
“The Focus Parenting Podcast provides moms and dads with helpful tips on how to be a better parent each day to help raise kids on the right path. “
Here is a very long list of more parenting podcasts, I’m sure you could find something that fits your situation!
RightNow Media
RightNow Media has so many amazing resources from articles to video studies. Here is their parenting resource library. They even have a Netflix-type kids section – great videos for kids!
All of this for free! The only thing is, you just have to be invited by someone who has access via email.
And while we’re on the subject of emails, subscribe to my newsletter to stay up to date on the latest posts and get access to more resources like this!
Focus on the Family
Focus on the Family has resources for kids and parents in every stage of life and every walk of life. Here is their library. On top of all their podcast and free articles, they offer a bonus free resource every month. This month it is a travel themed explorers kit.
Local Church
Head to your local church and ask around for resource recommendations and parenting tips. You could ask if the church has a play group or kids activities. They may even be able to set you up with an older couple wanting to mentor or young families looking for community.
Affordable Resources
If you have the money in the budget and are looking for something tangible to read, try any of these books below. If not, that’s okay! You can always add them to your wish list or check them out from the library. Chances are a fellow parent or local church has these books on their shelves that they are more than willing to let your borrow.
Books
Here are books that have been recommend to me. I haven’t had a chance to read all of them personally yet but I thought I’d pass them along. Some of these books are available on Audible or Kindle for free! Here is a link for a three month FREE trial – if you don’t cancel at the end it’s $10/month.
When given recommendations, I was also given the suggestion of “spit & chew.” You may not agree with every bit of parenting advice or every word written in parenting books. But, that shouldn’t discourage you from reading them entirely because they may still have something to offer. “Chew” on the good parts and “spit” out the bad.
MOPS
MOPS stands for Mothers Of Preschoolers but it is for ages 0-older kids. This group holds biweekly, 2-hour meetings in the community, usually at a church, to encourage moms. The cost is $32 for the year (varies by location) with childcare provided for an additional fee. Some locations offer assistance to help you meet this cost.
“Here at MOPS, we gather and support moms. We believe in the simple but revolutionary idea that remarkable things happen when moms come together, face to face. That’s why we rally women to come together in their own neighborhoods and help each other through this thing called motherhood, one gathering at a time.”
MOPS is located in over 50 countries so there’s a good chance you may be able to find one located near you. Check out their Group Locator.
One of the most important things to remember when is comes to parenting and resources is that it’s okay to ask for help! Also remember to take a deep breath and relax. You are doing a great job.
In the words of Tim Hawkins: ” Parenting isn’t about greatness. It’s about faithfulness. Half the battle is just showing up. It’s been said that the best present you can give your kids is your presence. And sure, most of the time they don’t acknowledge that presence. But trust me, they’d feel it big time if you weren’t there. So keep being present. Engage. Fail. Retreat. Recharge. Return. Engage again. That’s pretty cool.
No, not us. We’re parents. Being a parent isn’t cool. It’s not supposed to be. So what? We have the money. Our music is better. And we know where the M&M’s are.”
If you know of any other parenting resources, please share them with me in the comments below or message me on any of my social media channels: Facebook + Instagram.
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It is so true that parenting is new territory at first and sometimes just reaching out to someone who has been there done that can he extremely helpful. Thanks for sharing!
They could think of things we’ve never imagined!
Wow this is a great amount of resources! I clicked on the focus on the family link and they have wonderful podcasts I’ll be listening to. Thanks for sharing these!
“Fiercely independent”, so interesting to see his personality coming out!
Glad you found them helpful!!
Great article! I like the part about sometimes it’s just being there, being present. And the more you show up, the more you learn, and the better parent you become. 🙂
It’s definitely a good reminder!