Living intentionally is the difference between surviving and living. One is passive and one is active.
Are you living life on purpose?
*Psst: did you know, Family Makes Cents is on YouTube?! Watch the video version:
Intentional Living & Goal Setting
The new year is a time when most look at their year in review and set goals or resolutions for the next one. Among the most common resolutions set are: personal fitness, healthy eating, weight loss, gaining a new skill, and saving money.
Research shows that 45% of people fail to keep their resolutions by February.
Hmmm.
If the fail rate is so high, maybe it’s time to rethink our resolution setting ventures.
There is nothing wrong with setting goals. They are how you can measure growth. Even if you didn’t hit your goal exactly, you may have become close or at least moved in the right direction.
Setting goals is arguably one of my favorite things to do. I can’t start a project without the end goal in mind. I’ve even written a post about how to set SMART goals.
But as the year came to a close I was struggling to formulate a Specific Measurable Achievable Realistic and Timely goal.
I have ideas of what I would like to do in the future and where I would like to be in my business + personal life but I’ve narrowed it down to one thing.
My one goal is simply this: to live intentionally.
What is Intentional Living?
According to the good old reliable source of Wikipedia, “Intentional living requires one to be aware of one’s fundamental beliefs and to be willing to make an effort to have their behavior reflect these beliefs in a form of integrity in relation to his or her conscience and environment.”
In short, intentional living is about purpose.
Know what you believe in and why. Let that guide you through all your decision making and goal setting.
Intentional living is about recognizing the influence our society and culture have on us and deciding to let it continue to govern our ways or to go a different direction.
It is the difference between surviving and living. One is passive and one is active. Are you happening to life or is your life happening to you?
Intentional living is about identifying your defaults. If you have nothing pressing on your plate, what do you default to? When I was in college waiting for my class to start, my default was 100% to whip out my phone and pretend to busy myself like everyone else until the professor walked in.
Core Values
Your purpose is centered around your core values. What matters the most to you? My core values include: faith, family, and freedom. Yours may look a little different.
And that’s okay.
How do you discover your core values?
Think about a time when you were proud or when you were joyful/happy/content.
Was it seeing your child decide to do the right thing without you reminding him for the umpteenth time? Did you accomplish a big financial feat such as getting out of debt or saving for an emergency fund? Was it when you focused less on your wants and more on the needs of others? Maybe it was when you went a day being present instead of living vicariously through the social highlights of others.
Why were you proud of that?
Once upon a time* my mother told me that if you ask why 5 times, then you really get to the intention.
*okay it was yesterday
Take this goal: I want to be on my phone less.
Why?
Because I don’t like how I feel when I’ve just sat there scrolling.
Why?
Because I feel like I’ve wasted time.
Why?
Because I should spend that time doing better things.
Why?
Because time is precious.
Why?
Because I can’t get the moments back. Being present with family and those around me is the best way to spend those moments.
I get it now.
When kids ask us why a million times, they’re just challenging us to live intentionally!
Every decision you make should be centered around your core values. If a core value is prioritizing family time, taking a 2 year internship half way across the world may not be what fits for your life. But, if your core value is to better yourself, it may.
If you value living a life of financial freedom, you may not want to lease a brand spanking new car. If your goal is to impress the stranger at the stop light, you might.
*Pro tip: If your core value is centered around impressing others, find a new one.*
Putting it into practice
The way to put intentional living into practice is to switch from a goal focus to a habit focus.
Developing Habits
The way to develop a lasting habit is to identify your reason behind it. It’s like setting goals but there’s a twist. The twist is asking yourself why. Why do you want to gain/lose weight, save money, or learn a new skill?
Goal: I want to gain/lose 20 pounds.
Why?
Intentional Living Goal: I want gain/lose 20 pounds because I want to be a healthier version of myself by eating well and exercising regularly.
Focus less on the amount of weight you want to gain/lose and more on the purpose for gaining/losing it – being a healthier version of yourself. That way if something happens and you aren’t able to hit that goal, you will still be able to measure that you are heading in the right direction. Along the way you may realize that gaining/losing 20 pounds is not the core issue to being healthy.
Goal: I want to read 50 books.
Why?
Intentional Living Goal: I want to read 50 books because I want to continually explore worlds and ideas through reading.
If June rolls along and you’ve only read 4 books, it would seem nearly impossible to catch up on the rest of the 46 books in the second half of the year. You might just give up that goal all together. Make your goal about the benefits of exploring ideas and direct your free time towards reading. Expounding on the why will guide you in the type of books you choose to read as well.
Once you’ve identified how your goal fits into your core values, it becomes more of an intentional life change rather than forcing yourself to create a habit out of muscle memory.
The goal is sustainability.
One last thing
“Intentional living means I have to have every second of my life planned out.”
FALSE
“Know that you can choose to be intentional about your direction without knowing your final destination.”
–Simply Fiercely
When working towards a goal, you don’t always need to know the final destination. Take the example of a job. “I’m going to work at my current place of employment for 5 years and then I am moving on.”
Why?
Why is that your goal? Is 5 years significant or is it just an arbitrary number? Is the purpose of moving on so you don’t become stagnant and complacent in your line of work? Try this instead: “I’m going to continue to develop skills in my current field so that when the opportunity arises, I can move on it.”
You may not know the final destination or how many years it may take to get there. But, you can choose to be intentional about the journey.
We were intentionally created for a purpose, therefore we should be intentional about how we live our lives.
Your Turn:
Let me know in the comments below one intentional goal you have set for yourself.
Did you find this post helpful? Share it with a friend – they might, too!
And watch the video version here:
Thank you for the reminder to stay off auto-pilot and keep asking why. Now to deal with my answers that show shallow or wrong motivation!
always ask why!
Great post ! My favorite part was: “When kids ask us why a million times, they’re just challenging us to live intentionally!” haha, great way to look at it.
You have some great thoughts, now I want to go think of how I can live intentionally!
Thank you ? And let me know what ways you come up with!
I was thinking this morning what I would like my “word” to be. Intentional came right away. But let’s be real, I think that has been my word every year. Your blog was good to read. I really enjoyed the “why” part especially! Thanks for sharing this Natalie!
I think intentional is a great word for the year. The “why” part is a neat little trick to use in any area!
This is so helpful, Natalie! Asking why, focusing on the direction instead of the destination, making the steps in that direction into habits are all so clear and definitely made my “resolutions” look different this year. My goal was to read (not 50!) 12 books this year. Now my goal is to make reading instead of “screen time” my go-to activity for “down time”. Thanks for the clarity this article brings!
I’m glad you found this helpful. Developing habits is the best way to implement a lifestyle change that is lasting!